Kids Say The Darndest Things

When I was young I used to enjoy watching a program by Bill Cosby called "Kids Say The Darndest Things." Basically Mr Cosby would ask the kids some questions and the kids would just answer. What was special about these answers is that they were so honest. Kids would just speak their minds with no reserve and often they'd say things that were true, but that would make adults cringe. I had one of those moments today in two of my junior classes...

After being away from work for almost two weeks, because I had chicken  pox, I made quite an entrance today. Reason being, when I was last seen, I had a weave on but because of the pox I had to take the weave out. Going back to work today I had my natural hair, which is short, plaited in many small plaits (for lack of better description). The Korean adults that saw me thought it was different, interesting and even cute. But the fun came when the Korean kids saw me. I walked into class and the kids just burst out laughing. I asked them why they were laughing at me and they said it's because of my hairstyle. So I asked them what's so funny about my hairstyle. They answered saying I look like Medusa (a character from Greek Mythology whose hair was live snakes). I took this opportunity to play Bill Cosby and I asked some follow up questions, asnwers to which were the following:

The kids said they thought my hair was strange because it looked like worms were all over my head, that I have paths all over my head and that they've just never seen anything like it before. They said that they preferred my weaved hair (which they think was my natural hair) because it looked more like their hair.

I had brought a number of textbooks from different levels of the childrens' program. These textbooks have pictures of different types of children on the covers. I wanted to find out how these kids that I was teaching thought and so I asked them more questions. There were 3 boys on the one cover (a black boy, an Asian boy and a white boy) and I asked the kids which boy they thought was the most handsome and why. The kids liked the white boy because he had white skin and they couldn't explain to me why they liked the white skin. In the second class, one boy said that he likes white skin because it's cleaner. I asked him to explain what he meant and he said when he plays and gets dirty, his skin goes darker, so he doesn't like dark skin because it's dirty and white skin is clean. The others said they like the white boys bone structure,  his hair, his eyes and his style.

So then I moved onto other books and showed them three girls (a black girl with nappy hair, an Asian girl with straight, black hair and a white girl with long, honey blonde hair). I asked them which girl they think is the prettiest and which of the girls' hair they like the most and why. Some of the kids chose the Asian girl and said they like her because she looks similar to them. Most of them chose the white girl because they like long, blonde hair but couldn't explain why they liked it. The just did. The young girls said that they like the white girl just because she's white, and white is better. They couldn't explain why they think white is better... It just is... They continued to say that they don't like the black girl because they think her lips are strange and her hair is strange too. That her afro looks like a grandmother's hairstyle and they just don't like her hair. So I asked them if they've seen Koreans who actually have afro-textured hair. They said if they saw that they'd laugh at the person because the person would look crazy and they would tell them to get rid of the hairstyle, thinking that I'd said that the Korean had the hairstyle done. When I told them that there are Koreans who naturally have afro-style hair they were shocked and didn't quite know how to respond. I asked them if they think I'm crazy because my hair is an afro when it's undone. Of course they said "oh no teacher, no you don't, you look fine..." Enough said...

I asked them what they knew about Africa and they told me that there are starving children who die every 3 seconds and that they (the Koreans) should help them (starving and dying African kids). They said they know there's lots of animals and that the people are poor. So I asked them do I look like I'm starving and about to die? And they said no. So I asked why they have that concept of Africa. And they couldn't answer.

Well, time was up and I had to move on to my next classes... I didn't quite know what to think or how to feel. They're kids, they're honest, but their mindset just left me speechless. These are some of the "joys" I, along with many other "people of color", experience here in Korea... I'm still speechless, but I thought I should just share this little bit.

Until next time, so let it be written...

This is the "Medusa" hairstyle...

The Hands of Time

                                                  

Nowadays I've been seriously considering time. I'm one who's generally not good with time, so to manage time is a real effort for me... Recently I've been questioning why it is that I should sacrifice my time for people who seemingly aren't doing the same for me. Granted I'm not extremely busy if compared to other people but I have my fair share, and to give others time means to forfeit "Me Time". The way I see it is that people don't truly understand that the fact that you're giving them time means that you've taken time away from something else. If we all understood that, I think we'd all appreciate, even just a little, the time that others give to us.

Have you ever experienced those conversations that go something like this?:

 "Hi Suzie,  how are you?"

 "Oh, hi! Oh my goodness, it's been such a long time! You're so scarce! I miss you so much! Why don't you call?!"

Well, if you missed me THAT much why didn't YOU call?! Have you ever thought to yourself why it is that YOU are the one who ALWAYS has to pick up the phone and call or have to take that time out to write an email however long or short it may be? Or why you're ALWAYS the one organising the "get togethers" to make sure people stay in touch? Sometimes it gets just a "little" discouraging. I've found that we give time to what we deem important and sadly (in a note-to-self kind of way) I'm finding that I'm not as important as I thought I was. And I guess that's ok. I still want to give my time, and in giving, do so willingly. However, I do want to feel little or no guilt if/when I don't or can't give time... Like Billy Blanks says on his Taebo workout: "You've got to give some to get some!" And I think the same applies for time.   

All of us are given 24 hours (well, Koreans have 25 hours ㅋㅋㅋ) but what we do with that time is another story altogether. All of us need to give account as to what we did with our time, so time is something that's important to all of us, not just a select few. When I was thinking about how much time I should give or receive I thought of God... When I speak to Him, He listens to me and gives me ALL His attention as though I were the only being on this planet. To give or to expect less would be selling myself short. Granted we're human and can't always give undivided attention but taking five minutes out to say "hello" or popping in for even a few seconds makes a world of a difference in anyone's life.

Some principles we learnt in High School are that the more you put in, the more you get out and the more you give, the more you receive. These are such simple concepts and yet are found so difficult to be made practical. I give time, and I know in some instances I need to give more, while in others I need to give less time, and that's something I'm working on. I know that I deserve to be given time too and I no longer want to settle for second or third best... In my own right I want to be top priority.

A friend of mine wrote that we (ladies) shouldn't make someone a priority when we're only an option to them. I'm learning that she's so right! R. Kelly once sang "If I could turn back the hands of time..." and in that song there are many things he says he would do. Unfortunately "Time and tide wait for no man" and we can't get back the time we've lost. So to all the ladies, and to all the gents if you love something/someone, MAKE the time! We're ALL busy and the fact that you take that 5 seconds or 5 minutes or 5 hours out of your "busy schedule" shows that you esteem the thing/person you want very highly... It shows that you have love for it/them. And if you're not getting the time or attention you KNOW you deserve then just let it go because "s/he's just not that into you..."

Time on this earth is so short, don't waste it on things or people that wouldn't give you the time or day. You only live once, so live it completely and be happy.

Until next time, so let it be written...