I've been contemplating whether or not to write this blog. I've been so busy with the new baby and haven't been sleeping. I've also been thinking that so much time has lapsed between the first time I wanted to write it and now and so maybe I wouldn't write what I innitially wanted to write. I was also thinking if it was worth sacrificing the sleep that I should be getting in order to write it. Well... here I am and here it is...
This piece has no pictures unfortunately. They would be quite intrusive and they are very private. So just writing this time... It's inspired by several things:
1. A conversation I had with my sister where she said that when she gives birth she wants a c-section. She had witnessed her friend giving birth naturally and she thought it was just scary-hectic and she would rather be cut.
2. People who have chosen to have c-sections not because something went wrong and there was an emergency, but because it fits their schedule better or they think it's easier or, the most bizarre, they want their vagina to be intact so that sex is still satisfying as their vaginas won't have stretched during child birth. Ok... eyes rolling.
3. Because I've experienced giving birth by c-section and it was not pleasant at all.
A caesarian is a procedure that is meant to be used in an emergency ONLY. It's meant to be used to save life, either of the mother or the baby or both. These days there are more people giving both via c-section than by natural/vaginal birth. This is because of the mother's choice or an actual emergency but also because these days doctors prefer births by c-section. Here's why: I read an article in the Sunday Times once that doctors protect themselves against law suits by preferring c-section births. These births are more in their control so it is less likely that anything would go wrong. Compare this to a natural birth where anything goes. And doctors can be held liable for whatever happens. Not only this, but doctors (and the hospitals) get paid a whole lot more for c-section births than they do for natural birth. So you do the math. It is extremely disheartening. I remember listening to a.m. Live on SAFM as they discussed this topic and I just couldn't help crying as I remembered my experience.
My first birth was meant to be natural. I'd studied about it, watched videos etc. I planned how to get back in shape afterwards etc. But unfortunately things didn't take place as planned. My water broke the night before I gave birth but I only went to hospital the morning after (I won't really go into detail as to why etc. That's another story altogether). When I got to the hospital they told me nothing is happening ie my water hasn't broken and yet they couldn't explain the water that gushed out of me the previous night. They hooked me up onto a machine and then said there's nothing. They kept trying to get me to sign for an epidural but I told them I'm fine I'm not feeling any pain. Next thing they told me I have high contractions but I felt nothing. My gynae came then she got onto her cell phone and suddenly I was being whisked off to surgery. No explanations nothing. Then the nurse came and said if anyone asks why I had to have this surgery I must say the baby was in distress. Now I don't know if this was an English problem or she was leading me or if the baby was ACTUALLY in distress. Why didn't she just tell me the baby is in distress and therefore we have to do abcd? Why MUST I say he was in distress? Well, I will never know. The problem is you're so worried about your baby you trust whatever the doctor says. You don't know if they are lying or if they are telling the truth. And so there was my first c-section. The pain and discomfort you feel is just something else. And you must take care of a baby on top of that...
The second time around it was a planned procedure. My new gynae (I changed gynaes because I didn't trust the one I had at all. Again another story for another day). When we met, my new gynae made it clear that he does not do vbac (vaginal birth after caesarian) as they need too much motoring and he doesn't have the time for that because he has many patients and it is too risky and he wasn't willing to take the risk. He recommended gynaes that do vbac but the problem was we had waited so long to get an appointment with him and now we would have to wait again for a new person. Hubby had also started a new post at work so getting time off to take me to seek a midwife/new gynae was not available. So we stuck to another surgery.
Going into this surgery I was not as scared as the first time and the anaesthesist that was there talked to me throughout the procedure (coz whatever he injects you literally feel like you're dying) and so he talked me through what/how I was feeling and what I needed to do to make it go away. I appreciated this because he chose to soothe me instead of give me more drugs. The procedure went well according to them as I lay there listening to their interesting conversations (for another day) and looking up and actually seeing my insides this time (not intended but the frames of the building were painted glossy white and the lights used for the procedure are super bright so it reflected).
When the meds wore off. Then reality kicked in. The pain I was in was worse than before. I had blisters from the plasters. My left arm was dying because I had a drip in it but had to breast feed my baby and to do that I had to bend my arm and so the needle was digging into me. I couldn't walk. Showering was difficult. Resting was difficult because nurses constantly come in to give you drug after drug and there's the baby too. And this time my incision got infected due to a bladder infection I had on the day of surgery. It stank like I don't know what. I literally felt like the walking dead. This meant more pills and and and and...
The trauma you go through just to give life is like nothing you will experience. The exhaustion. The pain. If you haven't experienced it you don't know and won't understand. So I started asking myself why would someone voluntarily CHOOSE to go through this? Why would you want to experience pain AFTER birth and hospital stay for 3 days and healing for 6 weeks (if nothing goes wrong after the fact) than to endure some hours of labour pain but go home the same day or the day after and continue with life as if nothing happened? Why would you choose to scar your body and have a hanging tummy (I literally have two stomachs now)? Why would you do that?
This is to encourage you to please please please CHOOSE a natural birth. God knew what He was doing. If it's an emergency then ok, save your baby's life. If it's not, do it God's way. Your body is designed for it. I know someone whose baby was 4.6kg at birth and she gave birth naturally. If your gynae won't support you, get another one. Please, the pain and trauma you suffer from c-section is not worth it. Use it ONLY as an emergency procedure, not just because you can. There are a lot of things that take place during natural birth that won't take place during the surgery and healing takes a lot longer. God's way is just better.
There are people, even doctors, who advise expectant mothers to choose the c-section as the better option. Don't listen to that. It's nonsense. Like I said, only use it IF there's an emergency.
I had watched what to expect when you're expecting during my first pregnancy and I truly felt like the character who had everything planned out and eventually had to have a caesar. I can't explain to you the devastation of how that feels. Don't put yourself through unnecessary trauma. You may think it's quick and easy but the actual experience is just something else. I recently saw pics of women being photographed during labour and I cried because I will never experience that natural process of giving birth. It's over. It's gone.
I hope you will never have to experience what I have. I hope you will choose what is best for you and baby, not just for that moment but for a lifetime. Because trust me, whatever experience you choose to have will be etched into your mind forever and will affect you for the rest of your life. So choose well and be well.
