A Taste Of Africa

Since I came back to South Africa the one thing that has REALLY irked me has been  BAD service.  I was especially appalled by it because whatever service was rendered was being paid for, so I just didn't get why someone would give me a dirty look or mumble at me for asking them to do their job. I mean seriously, it's not like I was asking for too much. You get me something, I pay for it... Simple... I got the feeling that some people just wanted to get paid without doing their expected part. As sad and embarrassed as I am to say this; I'm sure I'm not the only one who's experienced this in Mzantsi. I was soooooooooo "over it"!

 But you know, a couple of weeks ago I came to Cape Town. Boy was I happy! I just LOVE Cape Town... Just by the way... Anyway, this Thursday my sister Sisanda and I decided to go out for dinner. We thought hey we always go to Cavendish so let's change things up and go into the CBD. So we opted for a restaurant called "Addis in Cape" (41 Church Street). We had been thinking of John, a friend of mine who's sister hooked us up with some mean Ethiopian dishes that our mouths were watering for more of that cuisine. So off we went to Addis in Cape. 

From the moment we stepped in we felt so welcomed. We kept looking at each other smiling because of how kindly we were being treated. The atmosphere was relaxing as we were soothed by the beats of African Jazz. The lights were turned down low but the paintings and wooden pieces and decor gave a warm ambiance with their yellow, orange and red tints. It felt like home.

We got shown to our table (which actually looked so cool) and were given our menus. There was so much to choose from that I had no clue what to eat... Literally. Eventually I asked "Algueros Cosmos the 3rd" (that's the name he gave us by the way though it was different from the name tag he was wearing) whom we assumed was the floor manager, to choose for me. What an excellent choice he made! I forgot what he ordered for me (I think one was lentils based and one was chick peas) but I can assure you it was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. Yho! It was worth every cent. Here are the before and after pictures just to show you how amazing the food was:

   

Before

After

It was not only because of how good the food tasted but how excellent 

the service was. The entire experience was just incredible. I really had a taste of Africa. Our very handsome waiter was Elias. He's only been doing his job for the past 2 months but what a joy he was. I thought to myself now why can't everyone just do their jobs as cheerfully as this young man? He really made it such a pleasure to be there. Sure everything he did for us was what he did for everyone else but because he did it with all his heart, it made us feel really special. He smiled, chatted a bit telling us about himself, where he's from and how he's finding South Africa so far. He washed our hands but was so patient with us (well, me to be honest) wanting to take pictures at every moment because each moment was a totally new experience for me and I wanted to capture it. He's quite a poser so check him out... See? He does this for hours for

hundreds of people that come in and out of the restaurant... It's tiring... And maybe he has his own issues going on and yet he still does it with a smile on his face. And that makes a world of a difference. He was really awesome and I was so thankful to have him. I learned an object lesson from our experience with "Algueros" and Elias: There were loads of people in the restaurant but these two gentlemen treated my sister and I as though we were the only two customers they had. When they were with us they gave us their time and undivided attention as though they had nobody else to serve that evening. We were all they saw... In the same way there are millions of people on earth and yet God treats each and every single one of us as though we are the only person alive on earth. When we come into His presence He gives us all His attention giving us top priority as though nothing or no-one else existed in that moment we come to Him. God is good...

After we ate my sister wanted to try out some Ethiopian coffee so she placed an order. Just when we thought things couldn't get better Elias rocks up with this tray bubbling with smoke. Our jaws dropped to the floor as we simultaneously shouted "Whoa! What's that?!" We were expecting to see a regular cup of coffee but what arrived was such a masterpiece. Too cool! I have no words to describe it so I'll let the pictures do the talking. Oh and bonus; It came with popcorn! Imagine that! So yes, I learned yet another object lesson: God has so much in store for us and the best is yet to come. When we think this is what we're going to get, He gives us something bigger and better. He gives us exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine. If that's not good, I don't know what is. I can't wait to see what He has for me.

Time flew by and we had to say goodbye to our Ethiopian experience and come back to the "real world"... But I can tell you this much; I will never forget our night out at Addis in Cape. Memories made there are definitely ones to be cherished. I can't wait to go there again. If you would like to visit Addis at Cape I HIGHLY recommend it... Like, HIGHLY... I can assure you you'll love everything about it... Visit their website on www.addisincape.co.za PS: Did I mention that my sister and I were the only black people there that night that weren't staff? Maybe it was just that night but I challenge and encourage "darkies" to try out new things, new places, new food, new cultures, new experiences... Cape Town is so alive... Explore it...

   

Us with  "Algueros Cosmos the 3rd"

Even the bill came in cute packaging

Us with Elias

Cheers...

Until next time... So let it be written...

Kids Say The Darndest Things

When I was young I used to enjoy watching a program by Bill Cosby called "Kids Say The Darndest Things." Basically Mr Cosby would ask the kids some questions and the kids would just answer. What was special about these answers is that they were so honest. Kids would just speak their minds with no reserve and often they'd say things that were true, but that would make adults cringe. I had one of those moments today in two of my junior classes...

After being away from work for almost two weeks, because I had chicken  pox, I made quite an entrance today. Reason being, when I was last seen, I had a weave on but because of the pox I had to take the weave out. Going back to work today I had my natural hair, which is short, plaited in many small plaits (for lack of better description). The Korean adults that saw me thought it was different, interesting and even cute. But the fun came when the Korean kids saw me. I walked into class and the kids just burst out laughing. I asked them why they were laughing at me and they said it's because of my hairstyle. So I asked them what's so funny about my hairstyle. They answered saying I look like Medusa (a character from Greek Mythology whose hair was live snakes). I took this opportunity to play Bill Cosby and I asked some follow up questions, asnwers to which were the following:

The kids said they thought my hair was strange because it looked like worms were all over my head, that I have paths all over my head and that they've just never seen anything like it before. They said that they preferred my weaved hair (which they think was my natural hair) because it looked more like their hair.

I had brought a number of textbooks from different levels of the childrens' program. These textbooks have pictures of different types of children on the covers. I wanted to find out how these kids that I was teaching thought and so I asked them more questions. There were 3 boys on the one cover (a black boy, an Asian boy and a white boy) and I asked the kids which boy they thought was the most handsome and why. The kids liked the white boy because he had white skin and they couldn't explain to me why they liked the white skin. In the second class, one boy said that he likes white skin because it's cleaner. I asked him to explain what he meant and he said when he plays and gets dirty, his skin goes darker, so he doesn't like dark skin because it's dirty and white skin is clean. The others said they like the white boys bone structure,  his hair, his eyes and his style.

So then I moved onto other books and showed them three girls (a black girl with nappy hair, an Asian girl with straight, black hair and a white girl with long, honey blonde hair). I asked them which girl they think is the prettiest and which of the girls' hair they like the most and why. Some of the kids chose the Asian girl and said they like her because she looks similar to them. Most of them chose the white girl because they like long, blonde hair but couldn't explain why they liked it. The just did. The young girls said that they like the white girl just because she's white, and white is better. They couldn't explain why they think white is better... It just is... They continued to say that they don't like the black girl because they think her lips are strange and her hair is strange too. That her afro looks like a grandmother's hairstyle and they just don't like her hair. So I asked them if they've seen Koreans who actually have afro-textured hair. They said if they saw that they'd laugh at the person because the person would look crazy and they would tell them to get rid of the hairstyle, thinking that I'd said that the Korean had the hairstyle done. When I told them that there are Koreans who naturally have afro-style hair they were shocked and didn't quite know how to respond. I asked them if they think I'm crazy because my hair is an afro when it's undone. Of course they said "oh no teacher, no you don't, you look fine..." Enough said...

I asked them what they knew about Africa and they told me that there are starving children who die every 3 seconds and that they (the Koreans) should help them (starving and dying African kids). They said they know there's lots of animals and that the people are poor. So I asked them do I look like I'm starving and about to die? And they said no. So I asked why they have that concept of Africa. And they couldn't answer.

Well, time was up and I had to move on to my next classes... I didn't quite know what to think or how to feel. They're kids, they're honest, but their mindset just left me speechless. These are some of the "joys" I, along with many other "people of color", experience here in Korea... I'm still speechless, but I thought I should just share this little bit.

Until next time, so let it be written...

This is the "Medusa" hairstyle...

The Hands of Time

                                                  

Nowadays I've been seriously considering time. I'm one who's generally not good with time, so to manage time is a real effort for me... Recently I've been questioning why it is that I should sacrifice my time for people who seemingly aren't doing the same for me. Granted I'm not extremely busy if compared to other people but I have my fair share, and to give others time means to forfeit "Me Time". The way I see it is that people don't truly understand that the fact that you're giving them time means that you've taken time away from something else. If we all understood that, I think we'd all appreciate, even just a little, the time that others give to us.

Have you ever experienced those conversations that go something like this?:

 "Hi Suzie,  how are you?"

 "Oh, hi! Oh my goodness, it's been such a long time! You're so scarce! I miss you so much! Why don't you call?!"

Well, if you missed me THAT much why didn't YOU call?! Have you ever thought to yourself why it is that YOU are the one who ALWAYS has to pick up the phone and call or have to take that time out to write an email however long or short it may be? Or why you're ALWAYS the one organising the "get togethers" to make sure people stay in touch? Sometimes it gets just a "little" discouraging. I've found that we give time to what we deem important and sadly (in a note-to-self kind of way) I'm finding that I'm not as important as I thought I was. And I guess that's ok. I still want to give my time, and in giving, do so willingly. However, I do want to feel little or no guilt if/when I don't or can't give time... Like Billy Blanks says on his Taebo workout: "You've got to give some to get some!" And I think the same applies for time.   

All of us are given 24 hours (well, Koreans have 25 hours ㅋㅋㅋ) but what we do with that time is another story altogether. All of us need to give account as to what we did with our time, so time is something that's important to all of us, not just a select few. When I was thinking about how much time I should give or receive I thought of God... When I speak to Him, He listens to me and gives me ALL His attention as though I were the only being on this planet. To give or to expect less would be selling myself short. Granted we're human and can't always give undivided attention but taking five minutes out to say "hello" or popping in for even a few seconds makes a world of a difference in anyone's life.

Some principles we learnt in High School are that the more you put in, the more you get out and the more you give, the more you receive. These are such simple concepts and yet are found so difficult to be made practical. I give time, and I know in some instances I need to give more, while in others I need to give less time, and that's something I'm working on. I know that I deserve to be given time too and I no longer want to settle for second or third best... In my own right I want to be top priority.

A friend of mine wrote that we (ladies) shouldn't make someone a priority when we're only an option to them. I'm learning that she's so right! R. Kelly once sang "If I could turn back the hands of time..." and in that song there are many things he says he would do. Unfortunately "Time and tide wait for no man" and we can't get back the time we've lost. So to all the ladies, and to all the gents if you love something/someone, MAKE the time! We're ALL busy and the fact that you take that 5 seconds or 5 minutes or 5 hours out of your "busy schedule" shows that you esteem the thing/person you want very highly... It shows that you have love for it/them. And if you're not getting the time or attention you KNOW you deserve then just let it go because "s/he's just not that into you..."

Time on this earth is so short, don't waste it on things or people that wouldn't give you the time or day. You only live once, so live it completely and be happy.

Until next time, so let it be written...

Happy New Year!

For as long as I can remember I've heard it being said that New York City is "thee" place to be for New Year's... Big, neon city lights, life-size billboards, fireworks, parades and masses of people "gettin their party on". The way I see it is that across the globe everyone has their own NYC in their very own country. All around the world people are in a frenzy when it comes to this time of the year. So many celebrations are held to gladly welcome the new year or say good riddance to the one just passing, to embrace the new opportunities that lie ahead or to bury failures in the past. Whatever the case may be, the New Year  commemorates a new start for all of us. Whether we actually make this new start is entirely up to us but it is granted to us nevertheless.

As I surfed the net I came across this quotation:

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.  ~Author Unknown

I found this to be so true. As it is said; "old habits die hard." Year after year we make new year's resolutions and we make promises to change. Unfortunately, even within the first week of the new year we find ourselves back to our old habits. What a frustration! At least it would be to me. I've never made a new year's resolution in my life but that's only because I'm one of those "take-it-as-it-comes" kind of gals. However, I have found something that can, and actually does work for everyone if applied. In the Bible, the book of Romans 12:2 it says: 

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." What will lead us to be truly changed is for our minds to be changed, completely transformed by becoming brand new.  We've heard it being said that "you can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl." This idea shows us that although the girl has been removed from the countryside, because her mind is fashioned as a country girl she thinks that way, and until her mind is renewed she may live in the city but she'll always be a country girl. I've found that new year's resolutions that are made, whatever they may be, are all connected to becoming a better person. But, until our minds are "better people", we won't become better people. As a man thinks in his heart, so he is. And, just as we are what we eat; we are what we think. If you think about it, everything that's "out there" targets our minds: movies, music, drugs, etc. All these things cause us to think in certain ways and even follow certain lifestyles. It makes perfect sense then that in order to be better people we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds. It's not easy, but it can be done. That being said, although my 2011 is already off to a gloomy start, I'm looking forward to what it has in store; the good and the bad. My mom always said "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." So bring it on! I'll leave you with some words of wisdom:

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.  ~Benjamin Franklin

And in the words of Oprah Winfrey "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."

Until next time... So let it be written...

Unrequited Love

According to the highly used Wikipedia, unrequited love is   "love that is not openly reciprocated or understood as such, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep affections." Well, in my case the so-called beloved is always aware of my deep affections because I am one of those maidens who wears their hearts on their sleeves. Actually, it's proving to be quite a disadvantage to me. But I find when I'm the strictly-business-don't-mess-with-me Ice Queen I don't get hurt, but then again I don't get to be the sweet-kind-and-caring Loving Princess (which is easier for me to be). I feel though that the latter personality is taken advantage of while the former seems strange to those around me. Finding the balance is proving to be a more than difficult task.

What does this have anything to do with unrequited love? Well, with my heart on my sleeve I seem to catch the attention of some lovely brother out there who happily strings me along and while I fall in love he shares with me his future plans, which, of course, don't involve me. I help him do his level best to make those plans a reality, and more often than not they succeed. And what am I left with? A broken heart! If I could give myself an honorary doctorate it would be in Unrequited Love. Been there, done that, got the emotional scars (the t-shirt would be too exposing).

Here's more from Wikipedia on unrequited love:

"As the literary selections suggest, the inability to express and fulfill emotional needs may lead to feelings such as depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and rapid mood swings between depression and euphoria. A universal feeling, by some estimates affecting 98% of all people during their lifetimes, unrequited love has naturally been a frequent subject in popular culture.


"The object of unrequited love is often a friend or acquaintance, someone regularly encountered in the workplace, during the course of work or other activities involving large groups of people. This creates an awkward situation in which the admirer has difficulty in expressing his/her true feelings, as a romantic relationship may be inconsistent with the existing association; revelation of the lover's feelings might invite rejection, cause embarrassment or might end all access to the beloved.


"In terms of the feelings of the hopeful one, it could be said that they undergo about the same amount of pain as does someone who is going through the breakup of a romantic relationship without ever having had the benefit of being in that relationship. On the other hand, some research suggests that the object of unrequited affection experiences a variety of negative emotions, including anxiety, frustration and guilt."

Question: Why am I wasting my time, emotions, mental, physical and spiritual health on someone who's clearly living their life like it's golden? And if you're in the same situation, why are you wasting your time? Depression has been my best friend, low self-esteem has been the norm in my life. Suddenly happy, suddenly sad...  and what for? A guy that shows no real interest in me? Why do I take it? Why do you take it? Why do we go through all that drama? I've gone from performing many acts of kindness and service out of love to planning my whole life around someone who's made their own plans in life... When is it my turn?

I had a thought the other day and I asked myself why am I not content with the love of Christ? He's such a gentleman, never forces me to do anything I don't want to do. He never hurts me, never lets me give so much of myself in vain. Infact, He gives, and gives and gives over and over again. When I turn my back on Him He's always there waiting for me, His beloved, to come back to Him. In fact, He goes out to find me wherever I am so He can bring me back home. He always pursues me with His love, and yet here I am chasing the wind. Maybe it's the physical affection I lack: someone to wipe the tears from my eyes, to gently stroke my cheeks, or give me that hug that assures me that everything will be ok... Or maybe I've just watched too many movies! The point is I've been giving my life, my love my plans to men who have trampled me underfoot. Now I'm learning to give it to The Man Christ Jesus. And no, He's not my "fall-back-guy"... He's been there for me through it all. In His hands surely only goodness can come from His Pure Love. It's scary, and I don't know why, but it's a step I'm willing to take.

Until next time, so let it be written...