Hair Drama

My last blog was about  me and my natural hair. This week I had another thought on hair when I read a friend-sister-in-Chirist's  Facebook status update. Yaya was relating how she went to campus and felt she looked HOT and made a comment that "it must be the straight hair." Now that got me thinking... Did she feel hot coz she was hot or was the fact that she straightened her hair what was making her feel hot? It made me think of myself too because, to be honest, when my hair is straight I feel I look good as opposed to when it is in its Afro state. My husband likes it long and straight as well even though he won't say. My son definitely likes it. He can't stop playing with it. That got me thinking... Am I brainwashed into thinking straight hair = beauty? Or... Is it just a preference?

I spent a whole month not being able to wash my hair. I literally had it tied in a bun the entire month. I didn't even comb it. In fact, I couldn't comb it because it was thick and tangled. I couldn't handle it anymore. At the end of last week I eventually washed it. Now, what usually takes two hours to do took me two days. TWO days! That's because I have a little one as I said before. I tried to get my neighbour to plait it but our schedules clashed. Eventually yesterday I asked my other neighbour  if she could please just flat iron it for me because it would make my life a whole lot easier. So she did and this is what it looked like yesterday.

                                  

Of course it felt so light and all and all and all, and combing it today took like less than 5min. Do you know how GOOD that felt?! Then I started thinking again... Do I stop being me now coz my hair is flat ironed? Have I stopped being natural? I haven't added chemical or anything but I have added heat. Am I no longer naturally me?

As my neighbour was doing my hair yesterday her husband was saying how back in the day black people would iron their hair to make it straight to look more white therefore more accepted. Is that what I was doing?

What is natural? Some people say in its most natural uncombed state. Some say that is untidy you should comb it out. Some say plaited like cornrows. Some say dreadlocks or sister locks. What do you say? More importantly though, above what people may think or say is what God thinks or says of me... In having my hair like his have I moved away from Him?

Eish, this whole hair thing is soooooo tough! I would love to write more, I really would, but my son just woke up and if I don't post this now I never will...

And so the hair drama continues... Until next time...

                                 

Naturally Me

I love braids! I really do... They're the perfect get up and go type hairstyle for me, especially with having a baby and all. I've never really been good with hair, even when I had relaxed hair (Americans say perm) and so managing an Afro is a nightmare. Well, this wasn't a problem when I lived in the southern suburbs because my friend Jane would know exactly what to do with my hair and she would do it for free. If she wasn't around then my hairdresser Evelyn would do my hair and she was great!  Until she quit her job at the hair salon... Now she's busy coz she's studying and probably has side jobs somewhere... So you see my dilemma.

So I found someone who can braid hair (I won't say who coz it's not a good story) and  it looked GREAT. The only problem is that I was in pain for almost a week after the braids were put in. A week! Then to make things worse the braids fell out WITH MY HAIR! Guess where... Yup! Right in front... Great! Anyway, I got over it, that's not what this blog is about. What I do want to talk about though is how much hair falls out after removing braids. Am I the only one who experiences this?

And that's just what fell out in the bath tub. Nevermind the hair in the toilet or in the plastic bag... But in all this I learned I have a lot of hair! Lol! So after this experience I'm thinking maybe I won't braid my hair again. Hubby doesn't like braids anyway. So even though I look fab with braids he never compliments me coz it's not my hair... Oh the joys! I considered doing dreadlocks but hubby doesn't like those either. I like to twist my hair but hubby doesn't like that either coz he says when I do it myself it looks like dreadlocks so I must get a "professional" to do it. Talk about being picky! So I SERIOUSLY need to learn how to take care of my fro and  I need to do that fast. And I need to learn what hairstyles I can do coz I've had my hair in one style all week.

Yes... Boring... I know. And don't think I took it out... No, no, no... It's literally been tied like that all week and maybe brushing the front and the back so that the hair lies flat... THAT'S how BAD it is folks... I REALLY don't know what to do... My trusted friend Google is quite helpful... Now if only I had the time. If you have any ideas, please do share. For now I guess this will have to do. At least for Sabbath I don't have to worry coz I have to cover my head anyway... That helps... No stressing over hair! But as difficult as all this is I think I like the idea of staying naturally me!

Chinese Yummies

It's been a while since I last blogged...Years actually... Three to be exact. I know, it's terrible! So much for wanting to be a blogger.  Well, I'm back (fingers crossed). It's been crazy; but I'll blog about that another time (hopefully not in another three years). And, of course, my opening blog is about food! I mean, what else would it be about? My love for food hasn't changed...

This past Sunday hubby and I (oh yes, I got married. More on that in another blog)... As I was saying, hubby and I went out for some Chinese food. Having been so disappointed at what was once a beloved Chinese hangout of ours I remembered one I used to go to when I lived in Rondies (that's Rondebosch for those who don't live in a Cape Town, and for those who live in the northern suburbs).

                                         

The restaurant looked quite different from when I last went. Actually, it was so long ago I wouldn't be able to describe it anyway. But we didn't go there for the look, we went there for the food. So we got down to business...

The starters

What would Chinese be without veggie spring rolls, right? So of course we had those. I didn't take pics coz they're spring rolls but I must say they were golden and crispy outside and so soft inside. And they weren't oily as is usually the case with spring rolls. I was pleasantly surprised. It was a chilly day on Sunday so we ordered soup. There was an option for a small or large portion and because we were sharing we opted for the large... It was HUGE! It could've fed  four to six people. I guess you get value for your money. The tofu and veg soup was quite a delight. Hubby had to remind me to take it easy as more food would come and I'd be too full from the soup. Yes, that's how much I enjoyed it.

                                                  

The Mains

We LOVE tofu so we definitely had to have some. I couldn't remember the tofu dish I used to love there so I called my friend Samba who had recently gone to the restaurant and she suggested we get the Three Cup Tofu. My oh my was this delicious! Hubby and I each had a portion of this and then we shared a portion of veg fried noodles. These were just as amazing. I left feeling more than satisfied. I was so happy we went.

             

      

Dessert

I don't remember seeing dessert on the menu but we probably wouldn't have been able to eat it anyway because it probably contained cow's milk or something or the other that we can't eat. That's why it's great to have friends like Jane who bake on request. So dessert was at Jane's place and she made us some ginger bread. It was lovely. I didn't take pics because we literally gobbled it up.

So... Guess where we were today... Yep... We went back for more of these goodies. We will probably  go back until we have tried everything we can then we'll disappear for some time until we miss eating whatever dish we loved the most there... That's generally our pattern.

Today we tried some hot and sour soup... Very... interesting...but it went down. For mains we tried

some spicy tofu, which to me really had a more Korean taste to it, and we had some egg plant in brown sauce... It was nice but it ain't got nothing on Simply Asia's 408.  As for dessert, well, Jane was away so no impromptu baking unfortunately. We had to settle for Appletizer.

  All in all the food was just super and I would really recommend it. They have quite a good selection of vegetarian/vegan dishes so you won't be disappointed.  They are on campground road. You can call them up for the exact address.

Most people go there to get take out. It's not exactly fancy. But, like I said, we went there for the food and that gets a definite "A" from me. I hope you get to go and enjoy the food as much as we did.

TPE. AS the Deer

A Taste Of Africa

Since I came back to South Africa the one thing that has REALLY irked me has been  BAD service.  I was especially appalled by it because whatever service was rendered was being paid for, so I just didn't get why someone would give me a dirty look or mumble at me for asking them to do their job. I mean seriously, it's not like I was asking for too much. You get me something, I pay for it... Simple... I got the feeling that some people just wanted to get paid without doing their expected part. As sad and embarrassed as I am to say this; I'm sure I'm not the only one who's experienced this in Mzantsi. I was soooooooooo "over it"!

 But you know, a couple of weeks ago I came to Cape Town. Boy was I happy! I just LOVE Cape Town... Just by the way... Anyway, this Thursday my sister Sisanda and I decided to go out for dinner. We thought hey we always go to Cavendish so let's change things up and go into the CBD. So we opted for a restaurant called "Addis in Cape" (41 Church Street). We had been thinking of John, a friend of mine who's sister hooked us up with some mean Ethiopian dishes that our mouths were watering for more of that cuisine. So off we went to Addis in Cape. 

From the moment we stepped in we felt so welcomed. We kept looking at each other smiling because of how kindly we were being treated. The atmosphere was relaxing as we were soothed by the beats of African Jazz. The lights were turned down low but the paintings and wooden pieces and decor gave a warm ambiance with their yellow, orange and red tints. It felt like home.

We got shown to our table (which actually looked so cool) and were given our menus. There was so much to choose from that I had no clue what to eat... Literally. Eventually I asked "Algueros Cosmos the 3rd" (that's the name he gave us by the way though it was different from the name tag he was wearing) whom we assumed was the floor manager, to choose for me. What an excellent choice he made! I forgot what he ordered for me (I think one was lentils based and one was chick peas) but I can assure you it was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS. Yho! It was worth every cent. Here are the before and after pictures just to show you how amazing the food was:

   

Before

After

It was not only because of how good the food tasted but how excellent 

the service was. The entire experience was just incredible. I really had a taste of Africa. Our very handsome waiter was Elias. He's only been doing his job for the past 2 months but what a joy he was. I thought to myself now why can't everyone just do their jobs as cheerfully as this young man? He really made it such a pleasure to be there. Sure everything he did for us was what he did for everyone else but because he did it with all his heart, it made us feel really special. He smiled, chatted a bit telling us about himself, where he's from and how he's finding South Africa so far. He washed our hands but was so patient with us (well, me to be honest) wanting to take pictures at every moment because each moment was a totally new experience for me and I wanted to capture it. He's quite a poser so check him out... See? He does this for hours for

hundreds of people that come in and out of the restaurant... It's tiring... And maybe he has his own issues going on and yet he still does it with a smile on his face. And that makes a world of a difference. He was really awesome and I was so thankful to have him. I learned an object lesson from our experience with "Algueros" and Elias: There were loads of people in the restaurant but these two gentlemen treated my sister and I as though we were the only two customers they had. When they were with us they gave us their time and undivided attention as though they had nobody else to serve that evening. We were all they saw... In the same way there are millions of people on earth and yet God treats each and every single one of us as though we are the only person alive on earth. When we come into His presence He gives us all His attention giving us top priority as though nothing or no-one else existed in that moment we come to Him. God is good...

After we ate my sister wanted to try out some Ethiopian coffee so she placed an order. Just when we thought things couldn't get better Elias rocks up with this tray bubbling with smoke. Our jaws dropped to the floor as we simultaneously shouted "Whoa! What's that?!" We were expecting to see a regular cup of coffee but what arrived was such a masterpiece. Too cool! I have no words to describe it so I'll let the pictures do the talking. Oh and bonus; It came with popcorn! Imagine that! So yes, I learned yet another object lesson: God has so much in store for us and the best is yet to come. When we think this is what we're going to get, He gives us something bigger and better. He gives us exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ever think or imagine. If that's not good, I don't know what is. I can't wait to see what He has for me.

Time flew by and we had to say goodbye to our Ethiopian experience and come back to the "real world"... But I can tell you this much; I will never forget our night out at Addis in Cape. Memories made there are definitely ones to be cherished. I can't wait to go there again. If you would like to visit Addis at Cape I HIGHLY recommend it... Like, HIGHLY... I can assure you you'll love everything about it... Visit their website on www.addisincape.co.za PS: Did I mention that my sister and I were the only black people there that night that weren't staff? Maybe it was just that night but I challenge and encourage "darkies" to try out new things, new places, new food, new cultures, new experiences... Cape Town is so alive... Explore it...

   

Us with  "Algueros Cosmos the 3rd"

Even the bill came in cute packaging

Us with Elias

Cheers...

Until next time... So let it be written...

Kids Say The Darndest Things

When I was young I used to enjoy watching a program by Bill Cosby called "Kids Say The Darndest Things." Basically Mr Cosby would ask the kids some questions and the kids would just answer. What was special about these answers is that they were so honest. Kids would just speak their minds with no reserve and often they'd say things that were true, but that would make adults cringe. I had one of those moments today in two of my junior classes...

After being away from work for almost two weeks, because I had chicken  pox, I made quite an entrance today. Reason being, when I was last seen, I had a weave on but because of the pox I had to take the weave out. Going back to work today I had my natural hair, which is short, plaited in many small plaits (for lack of better description). The Korean adults that saw me thought it was different, interesting and even cute. But the fun came when the Korean kids saw me. I walked into class and the kids just burst out laughing. I asked them why they were laughing at me and they said it's because of my hairstyle. So I asked them what's so funny about my hairstyle. They answered saying I look like Medusa (a character from Greek Mythology whose hair was live snakes). I took this opportunity to play Bill Cosby and I asked some follow up questions, asnwers to which were the following:

The kids said they thought my hair was strange because it looked like worms were all over my head, that I have paths all over my head and that they've just never seen anything like it before. They said that they preferred my weaved hair (which they think was my natural hair) because it looked more like their hair.

I had brought a number of textbooks from different levels of the childrens' program. These textbooks have pictures of different types of children on the covers. I wanted to find out how these kids that I was teaching thought and so I asked them more questions. There were 3 boys on the one cover (a black boy, an Asian boy and a white boy) and I asked the kids which boy they thought was the most handsome and why. The kids liked the white boy because he had white skin and they couldn't explain to me why they liked the white skin. In the second class, one boy said that he likes white skin because it's cleaner. I asked him to explain what he meant and he said when he plays and gets dirty, his skin goes darker, so he doesn't like dark skin because it's dirty and white skin is clean. The others said they like the white boys bone structure,  his hair, his eyes and his style.

So then I moved onto other books and showed them three girls (a black girl with nappy hair, an Asian girl with straight, black hair and a white girl with long, honey blonde hair). I asked them which girl they think is the prettiest and which of the girls' hair they like the most and why. Some of the kids chose the Asian girl and said they like her because she looks similar to them. Most of them chose the white girl because they like long, blonde hair but couldn't explain why they liked it. The just did. The young girls said that they like the white girl just because she's white, and white is better. They couldn't explain why they think white is better... It just is... They continued to say that they don't like the black girl because they think her lips are strange and her hair is strange too. That her afro looks like a grandmother's hairstyle and they just don't like her hair. So I asked them if they've seen Koreans who actually have afro-textured hair. They said if they saw that they'd laugh at the person because the person would look crazy and they would tell them to get rid of the hairstyle, thinking that I'd said that the Korean had the hairstyle done. When I told them that there are Koreans who naturally have afro-style hair they were shocked and didn't quite know how to respond. I asked them if they think I'm crazy because my hair is an afro when it's undone. Of course they said "oh no teacher, no you don't, you look fine..." Enough said...

I asked them what they knew about Africa and they told me that there are starving children who die every 3 seconds and that they (the Koreans) should help them (starving and dying African kids). They said they know there's lots of animals and that the people are poor. So I asked them do I look like I'm starving and about to die? And they said no. So I asked why they have that concept of Africa. And they couldn't answer.

Well, time was up and I had to move on to my next classes... I didn't quite know what to think or how to feel. They're kids, they're honest, but their mindset just left me speechless. These are some of the "joys" I, along with many other "people of color", experience here in Korea... I'm still speechless, but I thought I should just share this little bit.

Until next time, so let it be written...

This is the "Medusa" hairstyle...

The Hands of Time

                                                  

Nowadays I've been seriously considering time. I'm one who's generally not good with time, so to manage time is a real effort for me... Recently I've been questioning why it is that I should sacrifice my time for people who seemingly aren't doing the same for me. Granted I'm not extremely busy if compared to other people but I have my fair share, and to give others time means to forfeit "Me Time". The way I see it is that people don't truly understand that the fact that you're giving them time means that you've taken time away from something else. If we all understood that, I think we'd all appreciate, even just a little, the time that others give to us.

Have you ever experienced those conversations that go something like this?:

 "Hi Suzie,  how are you?"

 "Oh, hi! Oh my goodness, it's been such a long time! You're so scarce! I miss you so much! Why don't you call?!"

Well, if you missed me THAT much why didn't YOU call?! Have you ever thought to yourself why it is that YOU are the one who ALWAYS has to pick up the phone and call or have to take that time out to write an email however long or short it may be? Or why you're ALWAYS the one organising the "get togethers" to make sure people stay in touch? Sometimes it gets just a "little" discouraging. I've found that we give time to what we deem important and sadly (in a note-to-self kind of way) I'm finding that I'm not as important as I thought I was. And I guess that's ok. I still want to give my time, and in giving, do so willingly. However, I do want to feel little or no guilt if/when I don't or can't give time... Like Billy Blanks says on his Taebo workout: "You've got to give some to get some!" And I think the same applies for time.   

All of us are given 24 hours (well, Koreans have 25 hours ㅋㅋㅋ) but what we do with that time is another story altogether. All of us need to give account as to what we did with our time, so time is something that's important to all of us, not just a select few. When I was thinking about how much time I should give or receive I thought of God... When I speak to Him, He listens to me and gives me ALL His attention as though I were the only being on this planet. To give or to expect less would be selling myself short. Granted we're human and can't always give undivided attention but taking five minutes out to say "hello" or popping in for even a few seconds makes a world of a difference in anyone's life.

Some principles we learnt in High School are that the more you put in, the more you get out and the more you give, the more you receive. These are such simple concepts and yet are found so difficult to be made practical. I give time, and I know in some instances I need to give more, while in others I need to give less time, and that's something I'm working on. I know that I deserve to be given time too and I no longer want to settle for second or third best... In my own right I want to be top priority.

A friend of mine wrote that we (ladies) shouldn't make someone a priority when we're only an option to them. I'm learning that she's so right! R. Kelly once sang "If I could turn back the hands of time..." and in that song there are many things he says he would do. Unfortunately "Time and tide wait for no man" and we can't get back the time we've lost. So to all the ladies, and to all the gents if you love something/someone, MAKE the time! We're ALL busy and the fact that you take that 5 seconds or 5 minutes or 5 hours out of your "busy schedule" shows that you esteem the thing/person you want very highly... It shows that you have love for it/them. And if you're not getting the time or attention you KNOW you deserve then just let it go because "s/he's just not that into you..."

Time on this earth is so short, don't waste it on things or people that wouldn't give you the time or day. You only live once, so live it completely and be happy.

Until next time, so let it be written...