Birthdays

I used to get super excited about birthdays but things changed very quickly. I still get excited about birthdays, other people's birthdays, not mine. I mean I love food, and birthday parties = great food so of course I love birthdays. But when it comes to mine, I think the novelty wore off long, long ago.

When we were young, our parents used to throw us birthday parties. So many people would come. My sister Sisanda and I share a birthday and so we would always have joint parties growing up. But because she's the younger one,  the spotlight would be on her and I'd be told well, you're older now so... My friends and I would just use it as hangout sessions. 

Those parties would also end up being our parents party instead of ours. In the afternoon after the cake had been cut and presents given and we'd eaten and party packs were distributed, that was it, party over. It was now the adult's party. Most of the time they would send us to one of the bedrooms and we would stay there until we were either called to get some food and drinks or someone would be assigned to bring us food and drinks. We would often sneak out to go see what the adults were doing or pretend we needed the toilet or something, but we would end up in that room again.

In High School my birthday always fell during the exam period and so people thought that the little treats I brought them and put on their desks were for good luck. So there went my birthdays throughout High School. The best was going out for supper at Spur. I always looked forward to that. The free, sparkly dessert always brought a smile to my face . I think my 21st is the last party I remember that was all focused on me and I got gifts and all. And of course the infamous after party back in the day... but after that that's it.

In varsity birthdays were a blur because it was just party party party but nothing really meaningful. It was empty fun. As an adult... well... nothing really.  I can't remember the last time I got a gift from friends or family except my friend Jane and my husband. But mostly we (friends/family) do lunches or dinners and I love those. At least you know if you're out with friends on your birthday you won't have to pay for your share because they got it... so I always indulge. At the same time, I don't like big dinner parties because you don't get to engage with those present. And so what's the point? Keeping it small works for me. You're guaranteed to have good quality time. So basically those have been my birthdays. 

Now that I have a child the pressure was for us to throw a party for him when he was a year old. But as much as I believe that reaching one is a great milestone, I think a birthday party for a one year old is more for the adults and not the kid. I looked back at pictures from my first birthday party and I didn't recognise most the people in those pics.  The kids there were all way older than me and the rest were adults. But I'm sure they all had a great time. So first birthdays... neah... so what we did when our boy was one is we had him dedicated to the Lord and then went out for a late lunch, which he also enjoyed. I remember that day I tried baking using honey instead of fructose and the cake flopped. So there went the birthday cake.

When Mzo turned two we thought now we can do something for him because he can interact with others and he has kids around him that we at this stage can call his friends. But first we wanted to teach him that it is better to give rather than to receive. I know when it was birthday time all I looked forward to, except the food,  was the gifts... that's what it was about. It wasn't a thanks giving for another year of life or a time of reflection... nope, just the gifts. So we don't want him growing up with the same mentality. So we arranged a hospital visit for him to give cupcakes and balloons to other kids at hospital. It was such a blessed time.

That weekend we had a picnic for him and his little buddies and the parents of the kids. Not everyone who was invited came but those that did come made it such a great occasion. Mzo had a fantastic time and so did we. We tried to keep it simple but enjoyable. For such a simple shindig I can't believe how much we spent. Yho! life is expensive! It made me think of those who go all out for birthday parties... Sjoe! Nozie made our cake and cupcakes and we thank her for that. Everyone loved it. 

Either way, birthdays still remain special though I don't go crazy over them.  Lunch or dinner with a few friends and/or family does the trick for me. I don't mind it being just another day. These days it is a day to reflect and to thank God for giving me another year of life. I can only hope that I am and/or will become what He wants me to be.